I Lost a Person

Since high school, I have gained and lost and gained and lost alot of weight. Keeping track of weight loss is beginning to seem a bit meaningless to me, because you have to pick some arbitrary point in time and go from there. Sure I can say, “Today, I’m starting a new diet and my new goal is ‘x’.” There’s always something in me that keeps thinking about other times I was trying to lose weight, other goals, other failures, other successes.

I use phrases like “my all-time heaviest” or “my old skinniest.” Sure, at one point, I used to weigh 352lbs., but that was a couple of years ago. Can that still “count” toward what I’m doing? If so, then the fact that I dieted my way down to 250lbs. should still “count” against me — especially since I was 250 more recently than I was 352. Chasing the numbers makes me tired.

I finally realized it all doesn’t matter. The only things that does matter is where I am right now. Having lost weight before is helpful only in that it reassures me I can do it again. Having gained wieght back doesn’t hurt me, but it does serve as a good reminder that if make the wrong choices, I’ll be moving in the wrong direction.

But, how to track my progress?

I needed a point in the past, before all the gains and losses, where my weight was a known fixed point. This way, my weight loss could be continually tracked with an absolute measure. Then it hit me — just go all the way back to the beginning. How much did I weigh when I was born. A quick check of my birth records showed 7lbs. 7oz. Perfect!

I like this new system because it accomplishes a few things:

• It focuses on where I am now, not where I’ve been. The only relevant information there is my current weight, and it’s the only information that I really need.
• It reminds me that the whole notion of tracking weight loss from some arbitrary point, that chasing the numbers, is kind of absurd.
• It helps make all the ups and downs a total wash. I can focus on what to do now, instead of being bogged down by what I did before.

Clean states are good.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 9th, 2008 at 7:11 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.